Yes, there is a line of sex toys inspired by Jeff Bezos’ shuttle launch, because why not?
Photograph courtesy of Blue Origin.
Amazon and Blue Origin founder Jeff Bezos went to space yesterday via the New Shepherd rocket. This is the last trip in what is shaping up to be a billionaire space race: Virgin Galactic’s Richard Branson went to space on July 11 in the VSS unit, and although SpaceX’s Elon Musk has yet to literally leave Earth, his company has big plans to send a shuttle to Mars.
Some passers-by celebrated the milestone of Bezos’ journey marked in private space travel. Others criticized him for spending his billions to go to space, rather than for the greater good.
And others? Well, those of us with the mind of pre-pubescent boys couldn’t help but notice that the Blue Origin rocket looked a bit like a huge space ween.
It looks like the adult toy industry has taken notice as well, as we may have the best news to ever hit. Washingtonian homepage: There is an upcoming line of private space race-inspired sex toys called the Billionaire Flesh Rocket Series. Yes, that’s right, it’s 2021 and now you can buy a Blue Origin shuttle-inspired dildo dong, according to a press release emailed by adult entertainment company CamSoda.
Sex toy names sound like a bunch of 12-year-old boys in a treehouse: Customers can choose between the Blue Orgasm, inspired by – you guessed it – Blue Origin, the Space Sex (yes, SpaceX) , and Galacdick is what happens when you drag the word “bite” over the word “Galactic”.
The Blue Orgasm seems to be just… a blue dildo, while the Space Sex looks like one of those plastic torpedoes you shoot underwater at the pool. And the Galacdick is just unsettling.
My Inbox: An adult toy company capitalizing on the space barons craze. “Dildo series inspired by… ‘Billionaire Space Race’ between Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk which includes Blue Orgasm (play on Blue Origin), Space Sex (play on SpaceX) & Galadick (play on VSS Unity).” pic.twitter.com/tcarCHJP46
– Hrag (@hragv) July 21, 2021
I woke up with this message with the #RUPTURE tag in my CamSoda email.
Billionaire Flesh Rocket Series – a series of dildos inspired by the “Billionaire Space Race” between Branson, Bezos and Musk which includes Blue Orgasm, Space Sex (play on SpaceX) and Galadick pic.twitter.com/rTuKj4pb36
– Fercan (@FercanY) July 21, 2021
Perhaps the best PR pitch to ever land in my inbox: launch of the billionaire chair rocket series, a dildo series inspired by the billionaire space race that includes “blue orgasm”, “Space Sex” and “Galadick”. This seems to be the most useful innovation to come out of it all.
– Abigail Higgins (@abbyhiggins) July 21, 2021
The toys will be available for purchase shortly, according to the press release, because, like building space rockets, good design takes time.
The press release also included a statement from CamSoda Vice President Daryn Parker, who perhaps pulls the cake from the term Galacdick: “With our range of Billionaire Flesh Rockets, people who can’t afford a ticket on board from VSS Unity, Blue Origin or Elon SpaceX rocket can take off in a different way and enter zone o. Boldly go where no one has gone before, explore Uranus, and maybe even have a close encounter of the pantless genre.
To be determined if the Blue Orgasm will be available for purchase on Amazon.